i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
