Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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