i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
