in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
