If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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