Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Too much gin, very little bucket
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
