So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
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