she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
