You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
