so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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