***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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