nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
