I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
