Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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