Got a toothbrush?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
