You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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