Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We have so much sex to catch up on
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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