yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
