Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
