dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
