I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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