Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Can I color on your dick again?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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