Its about making memories worth repressing
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
