I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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