i permit you to call me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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