My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
