so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My feet surprised me
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
