there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
