butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
