i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
