Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
