Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
