You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
