i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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