Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
