I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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