The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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