This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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