chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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