Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
