I'm eating all of the evidence.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
