he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
