so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
