he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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