You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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