He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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