Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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