My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
