So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just cut my nipple shaving
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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