I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
