I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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