i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
